What It Means to Work at a Health Care Company and Be a Patient

When someone has a leave from work coming up, most colleagues would guess it is for a parental leave. I don’t think anyone’s first guess would be that the leave is for a kidney transplant.

On February 24, 2022, at Mount Sinai Hospital in New York, I received a kidney from a total stranger, and my mom donated her kidney on my behalf to another total stranger. We did a Paired Donor/Recipient Swap through the National Kidney Registry, which pairs living donors and recipients across the United States.

When I think back to the months leading up to that milestone day, there are so many words that come to my mind.

Uncertainty.

Support.

Fear.

Love.

When you know you are heading toward the biggest surgery of your life, each day, each moment is different. And it wasn’t just me and my mom going through this – my husband, Gennady (aka G), our extended families, our donor and recipient, and their families were all impacted – but also my work family.

Over the 5+ years I have worked at Real Chemistry, I have always had very open conversations with my team about my chronic kidney disease and my potential need for a kidney transplant. However, it wasn’t until October 2021 that I started to have conversations about the real possibility of needing a transplant.

I remember talking to my wonderful manager and friend, Becky Vonsiatsky. The conversation went like this:

Me: “Hey.”

Becky: “Hey.”

Me: “So, I think I may actually have to get a kidney transplant in the next few months.”

Becky: “The team and I are here for anything you need. You got this and we got you.”

It was in that moment, that even though I was about to go through something incredibly difficult, I knew my Real Chemistry team had my back.

And let me tell you, the months leading up to February 24 were more difficult than I could ever imagine. Nothing can really prepare you for getting a kidney transplant and the life lessons you will learn along the way.

The first lesson I learned was getting comfortable with uncertainty and pivoting.

After I knew I would be having the transplant, the months leading up to it were filled with more doctors’ appointments than I could count. However, the most stressful time between October 2021 and February 2022 was the shifting date of the actual procedure.

For anyone who has experience with organ transplantation, you know that the uncertainty of finding a match can truly take a toll. Between October and February, my mom and I had surgery scheduled and rescheduled twice before we found our final matches.

Originally, we were planning for a mid-January 2022 surgery, but that was moved to February 8 when we matched with another mom/daughter pair, who were also patients at Mount Sinai. The fact that we matched with another mom/daughter pair and that they were based in New York was incredible. I always wondered, what were the odds?

However, on February 3, just four days before going out on leave and in for surgery, we received a phone call that the mom of our matched pair did not get cleared for surgery. It’s hard to put into words what that call felt like. I think the closest feeling is whiplash.

After the whiplash subsided, I started thinking about that Friends episode…you know the one I’m talking about…PIVOT!

So, we all pivoted…me, my mom, our families and Mount Sinai leaned into the unknown and started to look for another match. On February 4, Mount Sinai activated me and my mom on the National Kidney Registry. And by February 14, we had a confirmed match – my donor, a 39-year-old woman from Austin, Texas, who was an altruistic donor, and my mom’s recipient, a 68-year-old woman at Johns Hopkins Hospital.

It was the best Valentine’s Day present I received this year (I’m sorry G!). Our surgery was scheduled for February 24.

The second lesson I learned was the importance of leaning on the people around me.

As I’m sure you can imagine, all the shifting of surgery dates and pushing my leave back more than once was difficult on multiple levels. Difficult for my family as we tried to navigate this unknown world while trying to prepare for life-changing surgery. Difficult for my work family as we tried to plan against an ever-moving target.

As the surgery got closer, there was so much coordination that needed to happen. Each day, there were conversations around transitioning work, communicating to clients, and ensuring each team member had what they needed so I could be fully out of the office and focus on my health.

However, each person I talked to encouraged me to take the time I needed and reminded me of all the people in my corner. My teams covered for me when I had to go to the doctor and gave me the space I needed to vent and share my feelings about what was to come. They were truly “virtual” shoulders to lean on when it mattered most.

That type of support is something I hoped to never need but when I did need it, it was something I couldn’t live without.

The last lesson I learned was to give myself the grace and time I needed.

Like I said earlier, heading toward such a big surgery is daunting and scary, but giving myself grace, love and time was important. Some days, I wanted to watch reality TV (Bravo, all the way!) with lots of pepperoni pizza, and other days I wanted to cry and hold G’s hand.

There is no right way to prepare yourself for this kind of life moment, so leaning into the unknown, surrounding yourself with love and support from your various communities – whether your family, friends or work family – and being okay with how you show up from one day to the next is all you can do.